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Sans
Yo ass betta imagine a ghetto where we all represented by a gangbangin' font, biatch? Huh, I wonder which one I would be, biatch? sees Arial Too straight. No! Not up in dat way dawwwwg! Just, straight, as up in unexciting. sees Badaboom Too.. uh... Deadpool.... BROADWAY! Now that's tha one biaaatch! Now THAT'S tha one biaaatch! Wuz crackalackin' Internet, welcome ta GAME THEORY, where instead of puttin a joke here I wanna ask you a question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. If yo' personalitizzle was represented by a gangbangin' font, what tha fuck font would you be, biatch? Take a moment n' put yo' font up in tha comments, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I'm straight-up curious ta peep what tha fuck mah playas has ta say. Maybe find a cold-ass lil couple freshly smoked up def fonts ta use. I'm gettin bugged out wit ol' Calibri 11 fo' realz. And wit dat outta tha way, it's time ta rap UNDERTALE. Now I don't be thinkin I've eva gotten dis nuff requests ta cover a game. Well, except fo' FNAF fo' realz. And I suppose FNAF 2. OH n' there was FNAF 3. Wait a minute, should I be worried bout suttin' here, biatch? Anyway, across tha board on YallTube, Reddit, n' Twizzle, you all have wanted Undertale fo' realz. And straight-up, I'm glad you brought it ta mah attention. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. True loyal theorists will know dat Earthbound is mah straight-up game of all time. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So a self aware RPG up in a similar style, WHOA MAN, it's like a gift from tha indie gamin heavens. Undertale be a game where every last muthafuckin character, from goat momma ta grind fodder has a sympathetic design n' a unique personality, motivations, goals, fears. Whether you savin or slaughterin them, tha game make you feel suttin' every last muthafuckin time you enta a encounter n' shit. But ta me, one characta stood up amongst all tha rest. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SANS fo' realz. A skeleton named afta tha font, Comic Sans, hence all tha font references all up in tha beginnin of tha episode. If you aint played Undertale I'm shizzle dat was a straight-up weird openin fo' realz. ANYWAYS, Sans is, well, there's a shitload of mystery round dis muthafucka fo' realz. And before we git tha fuck into it, let me put up a straight-up special spoila warning: UNDERTALE be a game dopest experienced blind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So if you aint played it, pause tha vizzle n' come back afta you've finished. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I PROMISE YOU, I PROMISE you won't regret it fo' realz. Alright, so mah playas outta tha pool n' locked n loaded fo' tha adult swim, biatch? Good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Because I'm feelin pretty determined ta git ta tha bottom of Sans' mystery. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So just ta recap fo' all y'all whoz ass aint played tha game n' ignored tha SPOILER WARNING, or just need a refresher, Sans is one of tha two skeletal brothers whoz ass appears up in tha game yo. His partner is Papyrus, a loud, goofy trap freak also named afta a gangbangin' font. But up in tha ghetto of Undertale they origins is a funky-ass big-ass question mark fo' realz. All you straight-up know is what's given ta our asses by a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shopkeeper up in Snowdin, whoz ass explains dat Sans n' Papyrus, quote, “just flossed up one dizzle n' asserted theyselves.” Weird, right, biatch? What's mo' is that, well, Papyrus is just kinda tha goofy sidekick. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sans is much mo' complex yo. Dude likes bust a funky-ass big-ass fart jokes yo, but he also incredibly bangin n' deadly straight-up n shit. Not only is his boss battle tha hardest up in tha game, he one of tha only charactas whoz ass has knowledge n' juice over space n' time yo. Dude can take shortcuts round tha ghetto all up in wack routes. Even is struttin all up in walls yo. Dude also acknowledges dat he only one of infinite versionz of his dirty ass, makin self-aware commentary of tha various timelines dat you've played all up in in tha game yo. Dude can even count tha number of times he capped you, biatch yo. Dude acts like a arbita of dis ghetto, passin up judgements on tha playa's actions up in tha game, even explainin tha secretz of EXP n' LOVE, or EXECUTION POINTS n' LEVELS OF VIOLENCE, just ta clarify. In short, he just don't like fit up in wit tha rest of tha ghetto of monsters. But then, what, or who, is he, biatch? Well, tha scam dat da ruffneck don't belong up in underworld seems ta be erect. Da evidence seems ta point tha fact dat he WAS, up in fact, formerly a surface dwella n' shit. In tha legit pacifist endin of tha game, as tha crew looks up onto tha horizon, Papyrus asks Sans bout tha giant bizzle up in tha sky. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sans says, quote, “we call dat tha sun.” This is blingin cuz A, tha usage of tha word WE, n' knowledge of tha sun shows dat Sans has a kinshizzle or knowledge wit other humans, n' B, dat despite he n' Papyrus both bein skeletons, or, supposedly, brothers, n' apparently rocked up in underworld all up in tha same time, they clearly-- uuuGGHH take two CLEARLY have two straight-up different histories. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Why would Papyrus not know tha name of tha sun but Sans would, biatch? We git further clues ta Sans' origins as our crazy asses hear his ass say multiple times da thug wants ta "go home" or "go back." Dude say as much durin his fuckin lil' dinner date scene all up in tha Mettaton hotel yo. Dude notices dat tha playa wants ta bounce back ta tha doggy den n' says, quote, "i know tha feeling." Dude then continues, "maybe sometimes it's betta ta take what's given ta you, biatch." As though he ended up in tha underworld by accident fo' realz. AND up in a genocizzle run durin his boss fight da perved-out muthafucka says, quote, "look, i gave up tryin ta go back a long-ass time ago." End quote fo' realz. And before you say he means goin back ta tha surface ghetto, that's clearly not tha full rap yo. His straight-up next line of dialogue is, "and gettin ta tha surface don't straight-up appeal no mo' either." Key word here, is EITHER. Yes, da perved-out muthafucka seems ta hail from tha surface n' wants ta go back yo, but based on his fuckin lil' dialogue he no longer considaz it his home. It's as though tha surface ghetto he once knew is gone, as though he from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different time. It's pretty intriguing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So our slick asses left wit a funky-ass bein dat rocked up outta nowhere, presumably from bein from tha human surface yo, but from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different time period, whoz ass seemingly has tha juice ta teleport. That's a shitload of thangs n' not a shitload of lyrics. But here's where thangs git REALLY interesting. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sans has a hidden workshop dat takes a gangbangin' fair amount of searchin ta find. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass could say it takes a shitload of DETERMINATION ta unlock fo' realz. Anyways, obligatory determination references aside, as you start ta look fo' dis eastsidea egg Sans gives you a key ta his bangin room n' say "it's time you learn tha real deal." Afta some searchin you find tha workshop which gotz nuff shit dat leave even mo' thangs fo' realz. A photo mixtape featurin Sans n' a funky-ass bunch of smilin playas you don't recognize, a funky-ass badge, blueprints wit illegible handwriting, n' a gangbangin' fucked up machine hidden behind a cold-ass lil curtain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In tha sickest fuckin update, one mo' detail was added. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A handdrawn picture of 3 smilin faces wit tha lyrics “don't forget.” so what tha fuck do all dat shiznit mean, biatch? Well a shitload of Undertale theorists done been linkin these details ta a gangbangin' feature ta a cold-ass lil characta named W.D Gasta n' shiznit fo' realz. A pimply characta whoz ass never truly appears up in tha game yo. Honestly, coverin his ass be a theory all unto itself, n' probably one dopest saved fo' another day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Even still, none of tha Gasta theories I've peeped done been able ta explain all tha details. In particular, tha photo mixtape, n' tha badge fo' realz. And that's what tha fuck kept naggin me as I researched Undertale fo' realz. A badge, biatch? That one up in particular straight-up stuck up ta mah dirty ass. Why would such a oddly specific item ta be hidden up in tha big-ass eastsidea egg of a room, biatch? Somethang dat supposedly reveals tha real deal bout Sans, biatch? Badges just aint blingin up in Undertale. Then it hit mah dirty ass. What if dis badge aint from Undertale, biatch? What if dis badge is from a cold-ass lil straight-up different game, biatch? And was, up in fact, da most thugged-out blingin badge up in tha history of gaming, biatch? Da Franklin badge. Now, fo' all y'all wonderin what tha fuck I'm poppin' off about, tha Franklin badge be a pivotal item from tha Muthafucka series. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Yo ass know, tha one wit Earthbound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Or, maybe you don't know dat one either n' shit. Uh, you know, tha one wit Ness from Supa Smash Bros, biatch? Yeah well, Ness is from Earthbound, n' Earthbound is tha second part up in dis larger Muthafucka trilogy fo' realz. Alright, biatch? Good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Anyway, tha Franklin badge be a straight-up blingin part of dat series. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Well shiiiit, it gets its start up in tha straight-up first game n' carries all up in tha whole trilogy, savin yo' game multiple times up in tha process. It's SO blingin dat nintendo has juiced it up a staple item up in tha Smash Brothers series. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I axed mah dirty ass; what tha fuck if tha badge up in Sans' drawer was THAT EXACT badge, biatch? Well first off, it made Undertale connected ta mah straight-up game, thereby makin it even COOLER yo, but that's still a pimpin' big-ass logical leap. I needed mo' n' mo' n' mo'. Let me rap , as I started looking, mo' n' mo' pieces started ta fit tha fuck into place fo' realz. At tha end of Earthbound you given a photo mixtape, coverin yo' adventures all up in tha game. To me it's one of tha best, most satisfyin endings up in gamin ta look back on yo' trip up in picture form fo' realz. And what tha fuck do Sans happen ta have up in his other drawer, biatch? A photo mixtape wit picturez of Sans wit playas you don't recognize. Of course you don't know them, they're not charactas present up in Undertale fo' realz. And note tha word that's used here, PEOPLE you don't recognize. Not underworld monsters. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So that's 2 shit oddly linked ta tha Muthafucka series. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! But then, how tha fuck do tha blueprints n' fucked up machine fit in, biatch? Well, up in tha final stretch of Earthbound, Ness n' his 3 playaz must travel ta tha past up in order ta have they final battle against tha evil alien Giygas. To do that, Dr fo' realz. Andonuts (remember him, by tha way, he goin ta be blingin later) wit tha help of tha science smart-ass es Applez Kid n' Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Saturn, create what's known as tha Phase Distorter, a machine dat allows playas ta travel all up in time n' space. Except, it comes wit a cold-ass lil cost. Well shiiiit, it can't transhiznit organic material. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo' realz. As a result, tha lil' heroes must put they souls tha fuck into robotic bodies ta use tha machine, n' thus, save tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I played dis game back up in 1997 n' I'm not ashamed ta admit dat when I first saw dis scene, I cried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It's DEVASTATING. Doctor Andonuts say peace out ta his son, these charactas you've grown ta ludd n' care bout is suddenly promisin ta sacrifice they lives. For all they know, there is no possibilitizzle of dem bein able ta come back home. It's dis incredibly dark departure up in tha final momentz of what tha fuck was otherwise a gangbangin' fun, quirky, n' colorful RPG. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So what tha fuck do all of dis gotta do wit Undertale, biatch? A LOT, actually. But tha straight-up original gangsta thang you need ta know is dat Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Saturns is known fo' their, let's say, unique linguistic style. That would explain tha illegible handwritin on tha blueprints fo' realz. And tha machine, biatch? I be thinkin a gangbangin' fucked up Phase Distorta is behind dat curtain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Now dat may seem like a stretch yo, but it straight-up explains all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! If Sans wound up in Undertale via Phase Distorter, it could provide a reason fo' why he a skeleton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude used tha machine as organic matta n' suffered tha consequences. Not cappin' his ass yo, but turnin at least a part of his ass tha fuck into a pile of bones. That could also explain why Sans has given up hope fo' goin home. Remember tha Phase Distorta be a time machine. By bein up in underworld, he not only up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different place yo, but based on how tha fuck tha pimpin' muthafucka talks, he also up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different time, wit no hope of pimpin' back ta tha time his schmoooove ass came from. But tha crossovers between Earthbound n' Undertale continue. When you drop a rhyme ta Applez Kid all up in tha end of Earthbound, his thugged-out lil' punk-ass blown away by tha astronomical oddz of Ness overcomin Giygas, sayin dat he goin ta continue studyin tha trait called courage, up in order ta harnizz its juice n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seems awfully similar ta tha same experiments goin' down up in Undertale round tha trait of determination, no, biatch? Especially since so much has shown dat Sans was a key playa up in dem experiments, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. But I'm shizzle you also want physical evidence right, biatch? Well don't worry, cuz I have plenty. Durin one of tha endingz of Undertale, we peep Undyne n' Alphys ridin on tha beach on tha surface ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A beach dat bears a shitload of similaritizzles ta tha tropical resort location named Summers dat you play all up in in Earthbound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! In fact, tha geographic layout of tha surface bears some strikin similaritizzles ta tha ghetto of Muthafucka n' shit. When Undertale's crew of monstas is finally able ta reach tha surface n' look up over tha earth, they're kicked it wit wit a funky-ass dope sunset fallin across tha landscape of a tall mountain, a big-ass hood, n' a sandy area adjacent ta gin n juice n' shit. Notice tha sun's reflection ta indicate water, n' a lack of trees up in dis middle section here, hence tha sand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well, up in Earthbound you have tha big-ass hood of Fourside, complete wit skyscrapers, which you reach via a thugged-out desert dat just so happens ta be adjacent ta some water, n' ta tha eastside, tha mountain up in Onett where a meteorite landz on Earth. I always called it Aw-nett. But if that's not clear enough fo' you, Muthafucka 1, Earthbound Zero, Earthbound Beginnings, whatever you wanna call it, it's had a shitload of names, had a map layin up tha same geographic landscape fo' realz. A tall mountain ta tha eastside of a big-ass hood, separated by a thugged-out desert, wit all of it up against a cold-ass lil coast. I don't know bout you yo, but ta me it seems like there's a thugged-out definite connection between tha ghetto of Eagleland (Eagleland, biatch? Again, unclear how tha fuck its pronounced.) between tha ghetto of Eagleland n' tha surface ghetto of Undertale. But tha strongest physical connection, one dat definitely unites these two franchises, be reppin none other than Papyrus his dirty ass yo. Dude wears a cold-ass lil custom-made costume known as his “battle body”. But if you look straight-up closely all up in tha design on tha armor, you gonna notice some markings on tha chest. Is it just a throwaway detail, biatch? Ohoh NO, dat right there be a exact match ta tha ones dat step tha fuck up on tha chestz of Starmen, da most thugged-out iconic enemy of Earthbound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And peep tha way da perved-out muthafucka standz muthafucka! I always thought dat shiznit was awkward until i saw tha two charactas side by side. Papyrus’ curved arm n' hand be a DIRECT match ta tha curved armz of tha Starmen up in tha Muthafucka series muthafucka! In short, our crazy asses have some incredibly phat proof dat tha Earthbound universe is somehow connected ta tha Undertale ghetto, which brangs our asses back ta our initial question, WHO IS SANS, biatch? Well, what tha fuck if we took it one final step n' holla'd dat Sans happened ta be Ness from Earthbound, biatch? Sent all up in tha Phase Distorta durin a test of courage, carryin tha Franklin badge n' his thugged-out lil' photo mixtape n' his cold-ass trusty backpack. Not only do all tha shit up in tha workshop suddenly fit yo, but so do Sans’ behavior. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Remember, Sans can seemingly teleport fo' realz. And Ness just happens ta have tha PSI mobilitizzle ta teleport. Now look tha way Sans always stands, handz up in his thugged-out lil' pockets, directly facin tha camera. It's a straight-up similar stizzle ta how tha fuck Ness is depicted standin up in most marketin fo' tha game. Well shiiiit, it even explains why Sans bleedz when you finally hit his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude is, or at least, WAS, a human. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Oh n' finally, Sans is only one letta removed from bein a anagram of Ness. That's just a gangbangin' funk one.. n' you KNOWS dat shiznit was worth mentioning. But if there was any doubt, we gotta look no further than tha creator's previous work. Toby Fox, tha playa behind Undertale, had previously hit dat shiznit on a Halloween hack fo' Earthbound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But dis just wasn't a simple reskin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Halloween hack drops some lyrics ta tha tale of Dr fo' realz. Andonuts afta tha eventz of Earthbound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Remember, I pointed his ass out, biatch? Dat muthafucka tha one whoz ass made tha Phase Distorter n' shit. In Toby Fox’s version of tha story, we peep dat afta Giygas' defeat, tha soulz of tha lil playas never return home. Instead, by goin ta tha past ta defeat Giygas, they create a freshly smoked up timeline dat they're stuck in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. As a result, Jeff never reunites wit his wild lil' daddy Dr fo' realz. Andonuts fo' realz. And Dr fo' realz. Andonuts goes wild-ass wit guilt, cuz HE’S tha one responsible fo' bustin tha time machine, n' extractin tha soulz of his fuckin lil hustla n' his son's playaz ta bust dem back ta what tha fuck he assumes was they dirtnap. In his crazy-ass mind, he capped 4 lil playas fo' realz. And up in Toby Fox's game, he lost his crazy-ass mind tryin ta deal wit dat guilt. I'm spittin some lyrics ta you, dis hack is DARK. dat holla'd, you peep a shitload of Undertale up in dis game. Da appearizzle of Amalgamates, tha straight-up original gangsta use of tha phat cold lil' woo wop Megalovania, tha prototypes fo' Flowey, biatch? And tha theme of havin tha chizzle ta be nonviolent up in a RPG, SPARING yo' enemies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! But then why's all dis matta ta tha theory, biatch? Well, remember, up in Toby Fox's version of tha story, tha lil playas don't come back. They're stuck up in tha past, wit no hopez of gettin home. Just like Sans fo' realz. And, up in tha hack, one characta is oddly missing, wit no explanation as ta why. NESS. Presumably up in dis timeline his thugged-out ass is up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different place than his 3 playas. Which brangs our asses back ta Undertale. 3 faces, wit “don't forget” freestyled on it, biatch? It's Ness, tryin ta remember his 3 playas. In short, Undertale be a cold-ass lil continuation of Toby’s version of Earthbound, wit Ness never bein able ta git home, adoptin tha name Sans, n' accompanied by Papyrus, a gangbangin' forma Starman, a alien force able ta drop a rhyme Gangsta n' still equipped wit his thugged-out armor, n' signature posture yo, but without any knowledge of earthly thangs... like tha Sun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da pieces all just seem ta fit. Now all we need be a appearizzle from Pokey/Porky n' we’ve gots ourselves a legit sequel. But hey, that's just a theory fo' realz. A GAME THEORY! THANKS FOR WATCHING! (Now go forth wit THAT knowledge n' try ta tell me whoz ass Gasta is. Don't worry, I'll be lookin' like a muthafucka.) 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